Q: Steeplechase... for humans?

A: The steeplechase is probably the weirdest, most awesome, and most difficult running event in modern track and field competition. I have great respect for anyone who has run this race... why? First of all, it's 3000m, a distance which I always found to be way too long to be going that fast... a mile, with a "surprise" mile at the end. Secondly, you have to clear 28 "ordinary" hurdles, as well as 7 "water jump" hurdles. The term "ordinary" is also mis-leading, as the hurdles are not the "normal" ones used in the shorter distances, but rather balance-beam like obstacles... they don't fall if you hit them. So yes, if you couldn't already feel the lactic acid burn by the end of the first mile, jump 35 times and let me know how that works out (and yes, someday I do hope to be able to tell you how it does)! Ok, so whose bright idea was the steeplechase in the first place...

Once upon a time, there was a jockey named Daniel. There was nothing all that noteworthy about Daniel, save for his really bad luck. Practices would go great, warm-ups would go off without a hitch, and then his horse would completely bonk in the race. And, to add insult to injury, his horse was named Lucky Charm. If one more person remarked that a more appropriate name would be Unlucky Charm, or Cursed Charm if they were in a creative mood, Daniel thought he might just lose his mind. Then, one day during a particularly bad race when Lucky Charm decided to add being directionally challenged to his repertoire, Daniel heard the announcer say, "I hope no one had any money riding on CC today." That was the last straw for the jockey... they were too lazy to even say Cursed Charm anymore... they had to shorten it to an acronym?!? So, Daniel jumped off his horse and completed the circuit on foot. Lucky Charm eventually made his way over to the finish, and the two crossed the line together. The race officials were utterly confused... should they disqualify the pair? Up until this point, the rules only stated that: (1) the course had to be completed in its entirety, (2) all barriers had to be attempted (or a penalty assigned), and (3) the jockey and horse had to cross the line together (to prevent the situation that a jockey could be thrown off, but the horse still complete the race). So, the officials let the result stand... I mean, they were dead last anyways!

Daniel began practicing harder than any other jockey, pulling two-a-days everyday (one with his horse and one without). Their next race was 30sec faster than the previous (no thanks to Lucky Charm), and by the end of the season, the pair had a new PR! In recognition of Daniel's effort, the other local jockeys decided to compete sans horse in the final race of the season. Unfortunately, they didn't tell anyone they were going to do this, and it was a rather large event. As Daniel and Lucky Charm had never won a race in their entire career, a lot of people lost a lot of money, and were obviously rather upset. In order to prevent this from happening again, two race divisions were created, one for humans and one for humans and horses.

The End!

... obviously, that was completely made up, but I figured I'd add it to the list of stories :-)